Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The process of forgiveness 16

In the final step of my forgiveness process, I work out what forgiveness will and will not mean for me regarding the person in question.

For example, one thing I have decided is forgiveness means I will not go back at some point in the future, and be angry all over again at this person for the same thing I have already forgiven them for. If I have an ongoing relationship with them, and they exhibit the same kind of behavior in new instances, those instances will need forgiveness, of course. But if I have forgiven a past action, I will not revisit and dwell on that particular action again.

For me, forgiveness also means I am free to, and even compelled to, pray for the person in the future. Now that I have gone through the process and see the person in a new light, I can lift them up to God from my new perspective. I no longer feel the need to remind God about my experiences with them as I pray (praying at them, not for them). Instead, I can take myself out of the prayer and concentrate on them and their healing.

At the same time, forgiveness does not mean I can't work further on my own healing from the actions. I fully intend to gain what insight I can from the events and how they have shaped my life. I will explore what I have learned, mistakes I have made, ways I showed strength, and how I was hurt. I will grow from the experiences. But I will be doing so from a much larger, graceful place---not a place of anger.

No comments: